Happy Mental Health Month!
May is Mental Health Awareness Month! And before I begin, I need to send credit to the friends who have had countless conversation with me that has given life to this content. Additionally, I want to add a disclaimer that I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, licensed social worker, or a professional of any kind… other than crawling out of my own dark hole time and time again. But over and over, I’ve had many supportive people who had given me the courage to keep climbing.
The awareness month was established in 1949 by Mental Health America (formerly known as the National Institute of Mental Health), but was only a week long campaign. It wasn’t until the 90’s that the national event moved to being celebrated the entire month of May. May was chosen as it coincides with the National Institute of Mental Healths founding month (May 1949). So why do we celebrate mental health awareness month? The reasons seem relatively obvious - raise awareness about overall mental health issues, reduce stigma on getting help, and promote mental well-being. It wasn’t until I started working with community based organizations that I paid more attention to awareness months in general, but this one particular aligns with me personally and I feel its my civic duty to show it some extra love.
For the remainder of the month, I am going to talk about mental health, self-care, self-love, and alllll the things that probably make some of you uncomfortable. I will also be showing some transparency and ways I walk the walk and talk the talk.
I always want to ensure that anyone who feels like they need to talk to a therapist never, ever, EVERRRRR feels ashamed of that decision. An unbiased person to talk to is so beneficial and gainful. And “therapy” doesn’t have to look like or be one thing. Have you ever did something that made you feel good and say after “that was so therapeutic!”? There ya’ have it! There are plenty of resources that can align with your style and need. Whether it be Telehealth, community forums and groups, spending time in solitude and nature, or perhaps you prefer the good ‘ol traditional lay-on-a-couch and let it all out. Regardless, each method is great! So whether you are talking to someone else or getting to understand yourself better, we all need it and have to find our own ways to get to the end result.
Let’s take a moment to talk bout support. Some people really need to feel supported in this type of decision. It's the validation of you not feeling like a complete psychopath (societal standards) or judgment and guilt. My advice to someone that is being approached by a friend, colleague, or loved one who might be thinking of therapy is to support their decision EVEN if you feel like it’s something you would never try. And encourage them to figure out the best style of therapy that fits their needs and personality. Nothing is worse when someone else stomps on your little baby heart by disagreeing or sending out judgmental vibes because they don’t align with it. On the other side of the coin, you may have a love one, colleague, or friend encouraging you to seek out some extra help because they see you might benefit from it. I would say take their words with some thought and really dig deep about what you’re going through. You may have an entire world behind you, cheering you on and encouraging you, but YOU need to take accountability for your own well-being. So don’t ever feel guilty or regretful for putting yourself first but you have to take the action. Put yourself first, push any pride aside, and get yourself right.
I think this is a great segue for talking about feelings. Feel the feels, ok. Do not keep your emotions pent-up. I am particularly looking at you, fella’s. The societal ideal of having to be strong, emotionless, and that you don’t need help is frustrating, and I’m sorry. So, dudes, it’s ok to feel the feels and the ladies DEFINITELY would appreciate it! But back to my point - letting your emotions out releases what needs to surface. This can be super uncomfortable, but growth (and vulnerability) is rarely comfortable. The key is to not sit in those emotions too long. It took me, what feels like a lifetime, to figure that out. I am absolutely a talker-outer and would get trapped in the endless cycle of whatever I was feeling. It was daunting and exhausting. That weird pit in your stomach day in and day out…. ugh. It takes a lot for me not to look back to those days and feel remorse or shame; that I spent so much time in the wrong mindset and how my mindset may have impacted those around me. BUT, it is in the past and I’ve given myself enough grace to move on fully. It feels so frickin’ amazing to not get stuck in those loops anymore.
We often don’t think how our actions affect others. And at this point in my life, I have worked really hard to NOT worry about what other people think. BUT this small caveat is an important one. I have trauma-dumped on plenty of people and have been on the receiving end of said dumping. In most cases, we aren’t checking in with the other person to see if they have the capacity themselves to take our shit on for the day. It’s not fair to empty a cup so ours overflows. And an empty cup can’t pour into another to make it full. We lean on the people closest to us for this type of release, but sometimes they are secretly dealing with their own struggles, big or small. Make sure you are pouring back into cups you take from.
This brings me to my last life-lesson around therapy… or really anything for that matter. You DON’T have to tell anyone. Sometimes keeping things to yourself is better. The word that encapsulates this is called “discernment” and I am chipping away at becoming a professional with discernment every day. I have felt a lot of power by having things for myself only whether it be a project, hobby, business idea, or job opportunity. We all need to be our own advocate and affirmer at times. It’s the notion of keeping it private until it’s done. A very wise woman has helped me immensely with validating what I know about discernment while offering some really amazing new perspectives and lessons. Discernment can be quite the conundrum though, right? We live in an oversharing world now. The innate need or want to post about our lives is the social norm; to express our every thought and feeling about world news, politics, what our neighbor did, what is going on in our own lives. Sometimes we feel it to be very innocent, until someone doesn’t like what you say or feels jealous. I am in this situation now especially with wanting to get more attention on my blog! The one way to grow your presence is through social media, which means I have to put things out there but I am actually trying to be LESS present on social media…so…total mind-fuck. Anyway, the point is, if you wanted to explore the idea of therapy in any capacity, you don’t have to say shit about any of it. Not everyone is going to like what you do or how you do it. We all will have different ways of getting the same results and I feel like more respect needs to be given to that. (Positive sources though! I mean all of this coming from positive sources. Again, I know the masses like to twist context to make something out of nothing *insert eye roll* I’m absolutely not encouraging any unethical) It all goes back to you, and doing what resonates for your own best interest.
In summary- surrender, reframe, and release. Do this however it feels right for you. I mentioned before I love journaling. Whether it be just writing about my day or writing my gratitude out. My May intention is to daily jot down all of the things that went right. So when things feel “wrong”, there is always something that worked out in my favor! Having a positive outlook absolutely changes everything. You are sending out good vibes that will come back atcha’! It can be hard at times, but that goes back to what I said about feel the feels, and move on.
What is your go-to “therapy”? I would love to be able to share some ideas on next weeks blog so feel free to comment on the blog, Insta’ or email me!
See you next Tuesday : ) Love yous guys! xoxo