Where have you been all my life?

Holy shit! How the hell have ya been?? Where have you been all my life?!

Just kidding… it was me who has been hiding under the proverbial rock. But, I really liked it there. And truthfully, I needed it.

I NEEDED to hide without expectations from others or myself. I took the damn summer off like a boss bish! *SNAP* It will be a summer I won’t ever be able to get back. With the kids being out of school, I found it challenging to focus on the blog and some other projects, so instead of stressing myself out and diving deep into the anxiety of feeling like a failure, I decided to surrender, chose to be present, and enter my short-term Hermit era. I chose me.

I could literally feel my emotions start to creep into self-doubt and limiting thoughts the first week of summer vacation when I got too busy to write. Luckily I said “NAY NAY!! We ain’t doin’ that this time around!”. There was absolutely no benefit for me to do that to myself when I didn’t have to. If the blog didn’t get written - it didn’t get written. If someone felt let down, then sometimes its be’s like that. I’ll say it again and again - I would rather put out content that I feel confident in than to rush and have it be total shit. DO YOU KNOW HOW WEIRD yet FREEING THAT FELT? When you are able to hold space for yourself without guilt… that’s real power. And not everyone will or can understand this. And that’s ok.

This is where I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone in my life who DID understand. I recognize that it came without explanation, and for that, I promise to do better next time! Even though I had been completely comfortable with my lay off, I admit I had moments of being unsure, feeling a little scared, and felt clueless of what my next steps were. But because for the last 19 years of my life I had spent every summer at the hands of someone else, I decided to just go completely rogue. Every summer before, I worked endless hours, nights, weekends, and taking calls at all hours of the day. I didn't have to do that this summer. The only things I was tethered to and responsible for were my children. They more than deserved that from me. Now, I’m not saying it was perfect! I think it was day two and by 8:30am they were fighting while I was trying to have a phone conversation. But all in all, it was really liberating to not have to take a call or respond to anyone, especially when it was chaotic in the house and it wasn’t a convenient time for ME.

When you are able to hold space for yourself without guilt…you allow yourself to heal.

So, what did I do with the last two months of my life, you ask? Lots! I slept in. Had visits with my family from out of State. Attended my 20th… yes… 20th…high school reunion! Enjoyed the beach and boat. Went camping. Saw the Jonas Brothers in concert. Officiated a wedding. And did a lot of lounging. I am now kicking the fall and new school year off by entering my soccer mom era and being the new substitute teacher on campus. AND I have been selected as a Workshop Facilitator at the Elevate Summit 2025! Like, who the hell am I even?

If I truly reflect back on the last 19 years of my life… I really have to give myself so much credit. I had so many moments I’d like to do over, but I suppose that wouldn’t have resulted in all of the lessons and transformation, huh? Because I have transformed - over and over again. I was actually brave when I thought I was being a craven. I have let go of people and old habits that no longer serve me in a blink of an eye. I have transitioned through two different retail careers, two different environments in the healthcare industry, to teaching children. I don’t always do it with the utmost confidence, but accepting my new path and taking the damn bull by the horns. The difference this time is that I am not afraid; not afraid of some monstrous manager or being “in trouble” or losing my job. I’ve been through it all…. try me bitch! And through all of that, I am leading a workshop at a whole-ass women’s conference!

My biggest flex has been not allowing negative outside energy to seep in and consume me. This world is not a kind place right now. There is a lot of division and hypocrisy out there. I refuse to allow anyone (friend, family, stranger) to make me question my integrity. I also have learned that just because you have an opinion, doesn’t mean you HAVE to share it. Social media has given us all this weird entitlement to just say whatever we want, when we want and without liability. I have become a master at making sure that algorithm is “rhythm-ing” for my greater good in my physical and digital life! Remember my post “Beating the Storm”? I mention the company you keep is very, very important and that extends to the content you choose to follow and engage with. You DO have control over what you allow in and you DO have the right to say “no thank you, please!” to really anything that you are not aligning with.

In closing, I am so incredibly grateful for the last couple of months. I am grateful for the friends and family who understood this timing of my life and let me do this authentically and unapologetically.

When you are able to hold space for yourself without guilt… you are able to do the same for others! What you give, echos back to you.

See you next Tuesday : ) Love yous guys! xoxo